Last day at Sis's

Liebe,

I hate having to leave...mostly. I absolutely adore the time I've spent with Sis. No wonder you and she were always so close! She is one of the awesomeist (is that a word?) people I know. I feel good around her. That's not to say that I don't have my down times when I'm with her too, but tonight's was mostly about me freaking out about being alone at home tomorrow, and last Sunday's was about waking up in the morning without you, which always sucks.

I wouldn't be going home this soon if not for the possibility of Pat being able to drop the car off this weekend. It's STILL not ready! Aaargh! I even would have endured Disney. But if the car isn't ready and then I have to wait around another week, I'll be very frustrated to say the least. At any rate, I invited Bernice to spend the weekend at Kathrinstadt because I was dreading being alone. Not enough to do (and no car) and too much time spent in numbness and despair. I need the company. I mean, NEED it. I don't know what I'll do when Bernice has to go back.

It goes without saying as always, but I miss you, Sweets. Please come to me in my dreams. I so yearn for dreams of you being okay wherever you are and stopping in to see me. I love you. Please find a way to reach out and comfort me.

PS: Sis found a ton of old photos of you. Everything from when you were a baby making the "fat face" (probably without trying!) to that first Thanksgiving you and I spent together eight years ago when the boys were little. You were always so adorable and beautiful to me. I know you would hate the childhood photos, but I think you were precious and I cherish them. I cherish you in any form, my Sweets. I love you so much!!!