Nothing?

I miss you so much, Dearest.

Why can't the peace and comfort last? Why does it seem so scarce sometimes?

What am I going to do after your memorial celebration is over? What happens if I feel like I have no purpose or chance for happiness left?

Many times, I really feel like I lost everything when I lost you.

Have I lost you? So many people insist that you're still with me in a spiritual form. I hope that's true. It's about the only thing sustaining me now.

What am I going to do, Love? If only I could find contentment...peace...purpose...fulfillment...all of those things I hoped I would have. If only I could hold our dear memories close and feel you close in my heart, and if only that could make me truly happy. I just don't know. What will I do?

I shouldn't let my thoughts and sadness run away like this. At night is when I feel almost peaceful, the closest to comfortable that I can. I shouldn't ruin it.

I just need you so much. I don't want to be here, Liebe. I just want to be with you.

Your sweet face is all over town. I handed out fliers today. We will have a wonderful turnout and your party will be the best. I just wish it could last forever. I want to love and celebrate you forever. Without you...I'm nothing.

May God help me. I'm not sure anyone or anything else can.